Invasion of Pink Nerds

Ahh, a new day....

2005-12-29T11:30:00.000-06:00

Watching Wanda Sykes, I think. Well, no I'm not. She the host of Premium Blend, so that's what I'm watching. I woke up early this morning, I'm going to Dave's. Yeah. I practiced this morning, and I enjoyed it, for the first time in a long time, I've enjoyed it. I never enjoy it anymore, until now. Yeah.

Ugh, I'm tired as hell. My eye hurts and I feel like being with someone. Only one someone. But yeah, that isn't going to happen. Because I am bad. I want him.

Uh, lies.

2005-12-27T21:43:00.000-06:00

It's not okay to lie. But how are you supposed to fix it if you didn't directly tell them. What if you thought it was just going to be some fun and then, well, it got serious and you can't do anythin about now. It's gone too far.

Luckily for me, no one reads this. So I'll just say it. I met this guy on Bolt. He was pretty fucking cool. He came into the chatroom like he was big shit. He was like 'Oh, the party's here, Mac is here.' Well, my screenname has Mac in it too, so I had to say something. I said 'There is ALREADY a Mac in here.' He responds with, 'You can be Mac number 2.' The Nerve, it was hot. So I firmly gave up with, 'It's okay, I don't have a cock, so yeah you can be the Mac in the room.' So he looked me up & saw my pictures and he told me how beautiful I was, blah blah blah. He PMed me and we talked. He is perfect. He is black, in the navy and has the BEST smile in the history of the world. He thinks I'm perfect too. I lied about my age. I'm not 24, or even 20. But I like him. So the whole fucking thing is that I can't ever have what I want with him because I lied to him of the bat. The internet will never keep anyone honest. Especially not me. When there is a chance for me to get a beautiful man to tell me he wants me, I will do anything. I've gotten a second myspace, just to lie to Mike. I'm going to call him tonight. And I'm going to be me, only 4 years older, and a dancer. Out of school, out in the world. Out of college? I don't know. I don't care. He told me I was perfect, or at least for him. I hate lies, they hurt everyone and sometimes you don't even care. Then, they end up hurting you. This one hurts. He could never love me. I'm a fucking liar. I fucking hate that shit. I hate myself. But I want him, he couldn't possibly want me any other way.

Uh, lies, They fucking suck.

Welcome Back

2005-11-26T21:11:00.000-06:00

I guess enough is enough when it is put in your face enough. That's right. I guess. When pushed to the edge the human machine can only take some much without exploding, or in more cases than none, imploding. I guess it is hard to agree with everyone. Very hard, I'd have to say impossible. But it is hard not to say something everytime someone does something that just aggravates you and I hate it. God Damn IT. I fucking hate not know this and I hate being mad at someone I know I shouldn't be mad at and I hate her now because she is fucking preachey and she thinks she is more righteous than anyone she fucking knows, except for those who always fucking agrees with her.

Fuck her. Fuck her. Go to hell you fucking bitch. GO to hell.

2005-10-24T19:29:00.000-05:00

So this is a good place to vent because I am absolutely sure that no one ever reads this. I am gald about that. I can't really talk to my friends because they are really consumed with themselves. I think I am to because I feel bad a lot and want them to listen, but I don't thinK I really listen to them. I just stop telling them things so I wouldn't seem selfish. I don't want to be selfish, so they can talk to me, but not really. My mom is good at telling when I am out of it. But I don't want to talk to her because she is going to tell me something that will be completely true and make me feel like an idiot, even worse than I felt before because I should've known how to feel. Yeah, really dumb.
I have the biggest crush on some young guy, Earl to be exact. He is FINE as fine can be and I think he is sweet and I can tell he has a great sense of humor. We started to talk last week, but like I guess that he wasn't getting what he wanted (I think he tried to call me a few times but I like never picked up so like that's done) and he was with another girls today and that really hurt my feelings. Not only that, but like he totally ignored me and I hate him, but like I like him a lot and I feel really like sad and alone and I want him to justl ike hug me and like me as much as I like him. But it won't ever happen because I want it too much, so it won't ever happen and that is the way my life always works. I think about something too much and expect too much that is too great and then I feel really bad because like that fucking sucks because like I want him but he doesn't want me. Fuck, this suck. I kinda want to cry, but nothing will come out, but my heart continues to hurt and I feel bad, like heartbroken, even though I didn't love him, I was just like attached.

Long time

2005-06-18T20:45:00.000-05:00

I highly doubt that anyone even reads this. But I got back from Missouri and HOBY (which rocked and I met hottie Paul) and tomorrow at 6:44 A.M. I am off to Duke and I haven't even begun packing. I think that I will start soon.

I got my hair cut yesterday and it looks so...cute. But that is not the look I am going for. Before my hair was very sexy. Now it is...Cute. Oh.

I just bought the second season of the Chappelle SHow and the World Series of Dice is on right now. Ashy Larry just got busted by his girlfriend after he was eliminated.

Well yeah. I have to pack or something and do some shit. OR take a shit.

Back...

2004-12-30T17:57:00.000-06:00

Hola,
I'm back to fill you in. On me. Because I know you aren't full yet.
You can live without it.
I'm going to tell you nothing about me and everything about no one.
But don't worry. In the next fuv minutes, nothing important will happen to you.
Love,
The Eternal Madame

New..

2004-12-29T21:06:00.000-06:00

Everyone should read it. Check my livejournal too.

www.livejournal.com/users/cows_go_moo_990

Have fun.